Hey everybody, I only am checking in to alert you of tragedy. We used to be #1 for google's "world's worst band." Sadly, we are now #3. Don't let this devasting turn of events shatter the very fabric of your existance the way so many before you have. But we must fight this injustice. We shall be #1 again.

Well, it has been finished. The Good Flame's 2nd full length album is made. You will, of course, be able to listen to the magic yourslef for free on www.thegoodflame.com, as per usual, when it is ready. The music video and documentary are still works in progress, so watch out for those in the future.

Hello, readers of blogs. I'd like to tell you a story. It's a lovely story. Once upon a time, my neighboor Jared was just a boy from Newark with dreams of adventure in his head and his best friend Checkers, a bull dog, as his constant companion. Checkers was brown and white, his face was about 1/2 and 1/2. On the white part of his face, the fur around his eye was brown, and shaped like a kidney. The way Jared tells it, it was a week before Jared's 12th birthday, and he was taking Checkers for a walk in town when he noticed Checkers sniffing for a spot to pee. Jared happened across an old, disgusting looking alley, and decided that would be a good place For Checkers to go. So He walks the dog into the alley, is waiting for him to pee, then BAM!! He's attacked by 2 muggers with buttefly knives. They never saw Checkers coming, though. That brave little dog's jaws latched on the taller of the 2 atackers' ankle while the short one stabbed Checkers right in the gut.

This is where Jared usualy starts tearing up and can't finish the story, unless he's drunk. If he's good and sloshed he gets very passionate in his story telling.

Jared knew the horror he just saw, and his first impulse was to fight them. Immediatly following that, a survival instinct kicked in and he ran faster than he's ever ran before or since. He ran for a police officer, but he didn't know how to get to the station and the muggers were chasing him. By some miraculous stroke of luck, a plain clothes police officer got his coffee and newspaper from a vendor on the sidewalk that Jared was running on. Of course Jared didn't know this untill he heard, "Freeze, Police," which he thought was being yelled at him, so he turns around to see the short mugger being andcuffed and the tall one running like a motherfucker. The cop finished with the short one, then bolted after the other.

So the cops get the tall mugger, and both are sent to jail, it's on the local news, Jared's curch has special prayers for him for 3 Sundays in a row, and years pass. He moves to Oregon, meets me, and we become friends. We get drunk several times, and thus become very familiar with this and a few other stories of his (wich, by the way, are all fucking nuts, I mean just crazy). Last night, he and I walked to a Kwikee Mart type place for more 40s, and are on our way back home when a brown and white bull dog with a brown kidney over the white side of his face approaches us and starts to growl at me. This was not a happy growl, the dog hunched on his front legs, tail straight up. This fucking bulldog was going to bite me, I swear you could read it in his eyes. But then Jared puts down his 40 and actually approaches the dog, cooing at it. Saying, "It's okay boy, com'ere Checkers, Shh shh shh shh." So the dog loses interest in me, and leaps, jaws open, for Jared's knees. The dog's aim was true, and he fucked Jared's ass up. I, like Jared before me, ran the fuck out of there. I haven't heard directly from him yet, but I've heard through the grapevine that he went to the hospital, is going to have to get reconstructive surgery on his legs and face, he's got a curable form of rabies, and he is pissed the fuck off at me for running. Shit, I didn't force him to coo at a growling dog like a fucking idiot. He should have ran and let me fight the little fucker, at least I wouldn't screamed like a woman and bled all over the place like an unconsiderate prick. Cause geuss who has to clean that up? The city, that's who, and that's all of our tax dollars wasted.

So now I'm just looking for hand-jobs...

So I know have an hour and 45 minutes left in NY, I had a full and fun week. Goodbye, broadway. Goodbye, bitchy bartenders. Goodbye. The official song of this week has definitly been, "The Final Countdown," by Europe. Time to fly.

After Ryan and I had lunch at this Italian deli yesterday, I we said our fairwells, and I made my way back to tbone's place. There we had a few moments of rest to just sit, read, eat, and watch disc 1 of arrested development season 2. This is my favorite program. We then adjourned to one of my sister's favorite Irish pubs, and we listened to a Jig Jam. That's not what they call it, they call it "session." I think Jig Jam is much funnier. We had some Guiness, and called it a day. Oh yeah, how could I forget? I also went to Central park. At the entrance, I saw a man who was hunched over and had peed his pants. The last time I saw that, it was a dying man, so I had to check to make sure was alive. Luckily, he was just passed out drunk. So I shook him a little, he woke, and I says to he, "Hey man, go home, you peed your pants." To which he responded, "Mrmph." One more time tries I, "Hey man, go home and change you pants because you peed in these ones." "Frumph." So, another full day in the big apple.

Missed a day yesterday, sorry. So the stand-ups were great. Dave Attell is the man, and I was drunk as it gets, friends. Yesterday I went to Ellis island with my sister, and I enjoyed the museum there. Later on, Tyler, Shawna and myself went to the Hard Rock Cafe before we saw "Spamalot," and I give it both thumbs up. Great show. After, my sister took her leave for Manhatten, and Tbone and I headed Brooklyn way to enjoy The Hazzards show. They have a great music video you should check out, and their live show did not dissapoint. Today I'm having lunch with a friend from grade/high school, and then it's off to Central Park. TTFN.

Setting: Day three in the big city. A nice rainy afternoon in tbone's apartment.

Tobias went to chipotle with his sister and ate. Then he went to the bookstore where I met him. I was a little disappointed that a special friend of his sister wasn't there but as I understand it: New York is the greatest city on earth and it has been raining all day in Central Park but I could always go for a cheese burger. This is code. That Iranians are hard at work decoding it.

We are heading to an incredible happy hour special at Doc Holiday's that entails 2-for-1 drinks until 8:00. After 8:00 it's all you can drink bud light 'till close.

Tobias here: For lunch I had a veggie fajita burrito, holy shit. If you haven't had one of these at Chipotle's, you haven't lived yet. I'm going to the comedy cellar at 11:00 tonight, Dave Atell will be there, check us out tomorrow for a review.

T-bone again: we had fun with the camera and have some fun stuff for hoody.