It seems someone thinks they're smart. But Buckaroo, you just don't make the cut. I've sparred with the greats, and you're not worth it. So consider this my final word to you: i dont kare abut 'spe^lng or evn punk?choo!ashun.

Tobias entered his room after a long day, he found his bed and fell. His muscles were sore from chopping wood for the Ribbit Inn's nightime fire. He closed his eyes, reflecting on a hard day's work, and sleep took him. Once again he was on the moon. The beauty and power of space filled him with awe. Like before, the moon's rotation gathered immense speed, then it was off like a shot. The stars and planets blurred into streaks past the face of the moon. And, as he was now accustomed, he found himself by Frog Chief's waterfall. The waterfall itself was surrounded by the mountains that protected it's occupant. The water was as clear as glass, as cold as winter. One sip and a man's wounds would heal. As Tobias currently had no wounds to heal, he adressed his animal spirit. "Frog Cheif, it's good to see you again," he said.
"And it's good to see you, Tobias." Frog Chief beamed at his disciple. It was good to know that The Good Flame had such tremendous faith in him. Especially ones so mighty as they, for even with Bealzibub's passing, evil held root in their world. "Once again I have nothing but bad news to give you. One of these days, we shall have to have a strictly social visit. But alas, today I have a quest to bestow upon you." At the mention of the word "quest," Tobias nearly shat his pants. The recooperation period from their previous one was far from over.
"I'm ready to serve you, Frog Chief," Tobias bowed his head as he spoke,
"But why haven't you summoned Wallace and Tyler as well? They were here last time."
"Yeah but I had to convince all three of you that the dream you were having was real. We've already been through that and it's really much easier to bring one of you here. You can fill them in later. What I have to tell you is sad, sad news, good Sir Tobias. A mighty disease is spreading throughout the land. Men dare not speak it's name, but since I am a frog, it is called Fabuticulitous." At the sound of the name, Tobias shuddered.
"But I thought the Alphas killed everyone with it years ago."
"They did, but by some freak chance it has returned. There is but one cure that can save mankind forever, and it is your brand new full length CD. You have to make the world listen to it, it is the only thing that can save them. You know now what you must do, Tobias. Go."
Tobias woke with a start. He remebered everything Frog Cheif had told him, and he made a silent vow to never rest untill the world was saved from Fabuticulitous.
* * * * * * * *

So what does this all mean, you ask? 3 things actually:
1)Get your copy of The Good Flame's brand new full length disc
2)Get horny for www.thegoodflame.com
3)Get horny for "The Dragon Song," the Good Flame's first novel, coming by 4/20/2005

Real quick here, I'm just going to declare supreme victory over our enemies, and declare that you should get horny about www.thegoodflame.com.

Has anyone else noticed how Chiefy talks big, like he's a man or something, yet he refuses to adress the topic of him being a coward and using a coward's weapon? I think that means that he's silently conceeded that he is, in fact, a coward. How can The Good Flame continue to demolish him in every battle with the knowledge that this guy is afraid of us. It's a little like child abuse if you think about it. And if there is one thing I won't do, it's steal candy from a baby. I'm beginning to feel like Joe Pescie in "Goodfellas." I already killed the guy, but I keep kicking him. Well, don't worry, Chiefy, I accept your unconditional surrender. You don't have to be afraid anymore.

Greetings, Tobias here, letting you know that a bigger better world of internet joy is coming in no time at all. Look out for www.thegoodflame.com

Mike Jericho, I've been to your blog, and all you do is talk. You ramble on and on as if anything you had to say to anyone mattered. You spout off your political opinions as if you are the only one who sees what's really going on. You know what happens when people go, "bla bla bla bla bla bla bla?" People just start nodding their heads at you and go, "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh." That's what I would've done to you if your insults were presented to me in person. Abysmal, absoultly Abysmal. That's what I make of your wit, that's what I make of your life., and most especially, that's what I make of your wife. Next time, tell her not to use her teeth so much when she's gobbling the dragonslayer. Tell her to grow some tits as well.

"YOU CAN NEVER STOP THE GOOD FLAME!! WE WILL ALWAYS BE WATCHING YOU!! THE POWER OF OUR DONGS WILL RULE THE FATE OF MEN," ranted Tobias. He had been feeling especially mighty this day. He had almost completed taking over Matt's body. The last part of Matt's soul had lost hope, but dared to fight untill the end. "I'VE KILLED A DRAGON WITH MY BARE WEINER!! I'M NOT NEARLLY DRUNK ENOUGH!! I'M GOING TO KILL A DRIFTER!! What... wait a second, I thought you were gone!" The familiar, yet odd sensation of sharing one's own mind returned to Tobias. Matt's mouth spoke with two voices.
"I'm not giving up my body to you, Tobias," he shouted, "I was here first, and I'll be here last, motherfucker. All you do is make me do obscene things at the bus stop and say mean things to perfect strangers. I don't want to hurt anyone! YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" Tobias laughed an evil laugh.
"It doesn't matter what you want anymore. I've grown too powerful. I can feel how weak you are. You'll soon be dead." Matt knew he was right, it wouldn't be much longer.
"Fuck you, you bastard." Matt summoned all his remaining strength, concentrating on pushing Tobias out of his mind. He could feel how easily Tobias was holding him off, but he didn't care. If he should die, he should die fighting. With all his might he focused his will against Tobias. The final fight of a man doomed to die. And then it was done. With a final thought, Tobias had killed off the man who created him. Now nothing can stop him. Nothing.

Tobias here, I have a tongue twister I made up. Butler Bubbler from Buckler County. Then you say it three times fast. I was working on this construction site, and I got to throw a toilet and a sink out the second story window. I want ice cream.

Wallace here. Now this guy at www.mikejericho.blogspot.com is a chimo. He's also a huge George W. fan. This guy has a blog with his wife. He's probably from the south (so his wife is also his sister and his daughter). What a sick fuck. He dares to attack us! No one makes comments about anyof us and gets away with it. So attack brothers and sisters in Christ! This is my declaration of WAR!

Hello, troops. Tobias here, reminding you that The Good Flame don't take no shit, but we give CDs out for free in the back. If you go for CDs, you'll really like this one. If you don't recognize that, I have no time for you. Unless you're a vag. O.K., seriously, is it vag or vadge? I just don't even know myself anymore.

The Neanderthal running bastardsinc.blogs.com is probably the most white trash individual on the planet. The funny thing is that he probably takes that as a compliment. Everyone let him know how much you hate him and is ignorance. Stupidity has a certain amount of charm, almost a cuteness, but ignorance like his does not.

People are not understanding a very important point. This is all a battle of wits not a battle of technology. The Good Flame and our army is smarter then you. Don't think anything more. We will crush you with our wit, our boner, and our blood lust.

Wallace here saying we, The Good Flame, officially bitch Bill Sardell. Bill if you're out there,you are now our bitch! Better be on all fours all the time Billy-Boy!

Here's how we did it:
Step 1) We wrote him a nasty e-mail at ubeanbillsardelled@lycos.com. It went somethink like this:

1) You are a chimo
2) You have always had chimotic tendencies.
3) The Good Flame does not do "nothing" like you always claim, we don't fight wars for nothing, we don't fuck your mom for nothing, she pays too
4) Fuck you dude
5) Your site sucked balls
6) You bean bill sardelled sucks balls
7) Fuck you too
8) When we tag team your mother, we always shoot in her face and ass, never in her vag.
9) You have no creativity. Your comments are always the same, your wit is no good. The comebacks are those of a mental child. The most ceativity you have is the way you poop arranges itself in the toilet bowl when you sit to crap ( you also sit to pee I'm sure).
10) Here's a spoon.....Eat my ass!

Did you see how Wally B of the Good Flame just tore you a second asshole? He was just going to open your first one a little wider, however all the semen blocked his passage. Thusly, it's Uncle Tobias' turn. You, my little man, have got to grow some man nuts, or we're just going to grow a 4th boner, gift wrap it, and FedEx it to you, because frankly, we've just about had it up to here (imagine my boner reaching way over my head and shaking back and forth like you're naughty) with your nonsense. Get good at something! You clearly have no more use to anyone, I recommend suicide. Something painful would be an appropriate penance for you. Maybe if you had made a good decision in your life, it could have ended differently, Cameltoe. You are God's worst mistake (after male nipples).

With an extra pint of Love,
THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step 2) We all shot our loads on his face and washed it off with a golden shower. The fucking chimotic pervert loved it.

We recommend that anyone who can should write nasty things to our new bitch at ubeanbillsardelled@lycos.com.

Everyone should drink two Pabst Blue Ribbons and yell Good Flame lyrics randomly into the night sky.

These guys at br0kenhanded.blogdrive.com just need to stop. They should try having sex with women. Men who look like women do not count. I think that a little prompting on our part couldn't hurt.

Other sites to try:
alphadisiac.blogspot.com - a religious, thoughts for life site
www.livejournal.com/users/petecockroach. I can't even explain...

Know of a crappy site? Let us know by e-mail at thegoodflamelovesyou@yahoo.com .

A new tactic for internet war: go to a girl's blog and internet cum all over the place.

Uncle Tobias can't handle these assholes at br0kenhanded.blogdrive.com. Does anyone else think there's a weeeeeee bit too much dude on dude love being spread around that picture on their homepage?

Wallace here. I must say that the number of people asking about the CD is amazing. There has been a much bigger reaction than I could have ever hoped. Remember this CD not only changes lives, but it also cures fabutickilitus in 2-3 weeks. Now there are only a limited number left, but the whole thing will be available for download on our up-and-coming site www.thegoodflame.com. But until then you can contact The Good Flame and ask how to get one. They are free.... just like Bill Sardell's mother's famous south-town, hip-twistin' doggystyle.

Bathe your boner in fresh mineral water to help it grow big and strong.

I found someone who has just GOT to join us! viking.necrolounge.com. I think it's ran by a girl, but check this out, she had pictures of naked chicks on her site! BOOBIES! THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!!

I found the perfect enemy! Bill Sardell was small potatoes compared to this fruit. Go to www.singmyregret.blogspot.comThis guy's either gay or a fag.

OK, listen up , everyone. Tobias here, informing you that there's a site called blogwise.com. You can search for blogs all throughout the world! So type in something like "shitty blogs," hit "search," and lo and behold, a list of shitty blogs will appear. This will revolutionize our way of war.

Wallace here. The world sits and waits as the dust settles over what once was a bad blogspot. In the war to end all wars, we THE GOOD FLAME, have emerged victorious from the battlefield, with our head held high, and our honor intact, Pabst in one hand (we will call this one the left), a titty in the other hand (we will call this one Burbank). We are proud of all those who helped in this epic war, and we grieve for those we lost. But in the end what have we really accomplished? What have we destroyed in the name of freedom? Bill Sardell's crappy blogspot. That's right. And never forget it!

You are all heroes.

We are THE GOOD FLAME, We are here.

Everyone who helped should go drink 2 Pabst Blue Ribbons and yell randomly at the moon.

I think Bill Sardell may have given up and trashed his website. We destroyed a shitty website. NEXT!

Can you sleep at night knowing you're responsible for letting innocent children stumble on to shitty blogs? To take a leaf from Spiderman, I quothe, "With great power comes great responsability." The power of the Frog has been bestowed upon you...... what will you do with it? THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!!

Can you sleep at night knowing you're responsible for letting innocent children stumble on to shitty blogs? To take a leaf from Spiderman, I quothe, "With great power comes great responsability." The power of the Frog has been bestowed upon you...... what will you do with it?
href="mailto:thegoodflamelovesyou@yahoo.com">THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!!

I am speaking to the troops!

We need to search the internet for bad blogs. We need people to Email us or post a comment here when they find something that needs to be destroyed. We must work together and in the end everyone will get a rim job...virtually. You know you want to help us because we are bill sardell free.

The good flame are men of honor and will take our victory in stride. Bill Sardell put up a valiant fight and I think he deserves a free good flame CD. So Mr. Sardell if you are in new york city, portland, or Corvallis(Oregon) you are welcome to Email us and go to one of the distributors and pick one up at no cost.

Looks like good flame mania is sweeping the world up on it's rear. For more information and/or an "offical Good Flame target" send us you address via email.! Thanks again for your support!

Well I must say that our inbox has been flooded with requests for CD's. I want to give everyone a few hints on actually receiving the new full-length limited edition CD. Email us and we will direct you to one of our distributors.

Well I must say that our inbox has been flooded with requests for CDs. I want to give everyone a few hints on actually recieving the new full-length limited edition CD. Email us and we will direct you to one of our distributors. Unfortunantly we currently have no aussie distributors so you'all awe out o' luck down-under mate! Keep those cameras rolling and go fuck yourself chiefy!

I really think someone should try to challange our musical wit. Just like how our lady liberty takes your poor, weak, and indegent (or something like that) we will take your history, theory, or opinion questions. Top fives are so passe so please refrain, but if you must we will reply. Lay it on us! THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!!

I really think someone should try to challange our musical wit. Just like how our lady liberty takes your poor, weak, and indegent (or something like that) we will take your history, theory, or opinion questions. Top fives are so passe so please refrain, but if you must, we will reply. Lay it on us! THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!!

I am drunk and want to vent so here I go:
What the fuck is all of this gay marriage all about? I really don't care if john wants to fuck jayson or sue wants to fuck Martha! There is a constitutional amendment being discussed here and I just can't take it seriously! The last constitutional amendment was to ban...Banned drinking. We laugh at that now! We don't want that to happen again! If we want to protect the sanctity of marriage...why don't we outlaw divorce?!? We should make a constitutional amendment that outlaws divorce! That should make everyone happy! Why is the nation full of ideological wackos?

People are not understanding a very important point. This is all a battle of wits not a battle of technology. The Good Flame and our army is smarter then you. Don't think anything more. We will crush you with our wit, our boner, and our blood lust.

More soldiers pop up every day!! Horny Rose, "Head"mistress of the 1st infantry, and Director of Titty Sniffing, and TAE, Knight and Colnol. Already they have bested this Mr. Sardell, way to go girls!

The Good FLame has recruted our first soldier! Sir Mike, Knight and First Leitenant of The Good Flame, has joined the good fight against shitty bloggers. Who shall be next? Shall it be you?

Man, this guy is good. Whatever happens, do NOT push the big red button. It stated perfectly clearly, "turn off the internet," but for some stupid reason, I pushed it. DO NOT push the big red button. Note to self: Computer viruses are the nuclear weaponry of internet war.

I finally did it!!! YAAAAAA!!!! Bill Sardell is pissed!!! He called me a girl!! This is so fucking awesome!!! Tobias is the king of pissing people off!!!! Open war is upon us all!!! Take up the charge, THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!!

I am trying to recrute bloggers who have good websites to join us. I found one so far. They haven't responded yet. The Good Flame is here.

Well, that should show him. Tobias here, I'm writing you after leaving a seething comment on one Mr. Sardell's blogspot. (ubeanbillsardelled.blogspot.com) After having the first six or seven comments I left erased, I first congratulated my foe on his move (internet war is turning out to be a lot like chess). The next day however, I checked to see if he responded, and lo and behold, he had made a comment to his bill sardell victims thanking them for their support. Not one word regarding my challange! Well, I let him know that his honor was at stake here, and I called him a coward. Mr. Sardell located his testicles long enough to respond with this, "the good flame is OUT." Isn't that the worst response you could ever hope to hear? I assume it was in response to the last sentence I alyways leave, " The Good Flame is here." But wouldn't it have mad a lot more sense to say, "The Good Flame is NOT HERE." Wich brings up the point that he capitalized "out" as if to drive home the point that he chose the worst wording possible. What a fucking tool. If he can't come up with much better, I'm going to take an internet crap on his head. The Good Flame is here.

Tobias here, I've left little comments for our enemies. Now is the time to find allies as well. I implore anyone who's not a fucking tool to join us! Or else find yourself facing the same doom as Julie and Mr. Sardell! THE GOOD FLAME IS HERE!

This Bill Sardell character is crossing the line. Now other people are attacking us defending this pompous asshole. You'ver bean Bill Sardelled, huh? How about you'ver been juked in the face, greased up and down, covered in melted butter, shallots, green peppers and lots of POOP form our asses!!!!! How about that.

Fuck this! So Julie thinks she can defend Bill. We will destroy all in our path to glory, rock, and the United Pabst Democracy. Worship our boners!!!!!!!!!!

It has come to our attention that we are being bombarded with a slew of inappropriate comments from someone named Franklin. I will not block his comments at this time because I am not his mother, but, If he posts another perverted comment I will have no choice but to block him from ever posting a comment again. FRANKLIN, here this, stay away because we want a blog for the whole family.

Okay, I think I just made an internet enemy, I don't know yet. By the by, Tobias here, I just issued a threat to one Mr. Sardell. If he doesn't respond with an acceptable answer in two days time, I will declare internet war! The Good Flame is here, and you have not bean Bill Sardelled!........Okay, that might not make any sense to most of you, so read the comments on top of the last entery I made. The Good Flame is here.

Tobias here, wondering if anyone can answer this noodle turner:
What is a mouse?

The new Good Flame album and web page will make everybody happy.....
Just like these avid Good Flame fans. Way to show your support girls!

Sometimes the last thing to try is a heavy dose of caffeine for those long bouts of diarrea

Greetings, friends. Tobias here to tell you about our exciting new website! It's not ready yet, but we'll keep you posted. So untill then look out for www.thegoodflame.com. I've also named my penis Dragonslayer.

Tobias here, wishing you and yours the merriest of tidings. Here are a few tips to make the afore mentioned tidings as merry as possible as mentioned afore.

1) do it with out a condom
2) drink a case of beer. all of it. by yourself. in two hours.
3) email The Good Flame at thegoodflamelovesyou@yahoo.com
4) try and do it after drinking the case of beer
5) kill a drifter
6) wear someone's mother's vag as a vest
7) tell Mormons that you have the love of Jesus in your loins
8) spank a bottom
9) fart in a jar, close the jar, label said jar with the date, and then name it.
10)listen to the new Good Flame CD

Follow these simple guidelines, and nothing bad will ever happen to you again.

Everyone listen up! The CD's are done and will be ready for distribution soon. We do not pay shipping cost so don't just give us your address. You are going to have to get off your ass and get in touch with one of the distributors in Corvallis, Portland (both in Oregon), or New York City. Send an email to us and we will work something out. This CD has been compared to "The Wall" and "A song for you". Rolling stone says, "the best band to emerge from the dredges of music in the last 27 years", and one reviewer added, "I wept...then I had no choice but to slap my bitch around"

O my beautiful God! I swim in Thy heart like a trout in the mountain torrent.

I leap from pool to pool in my joy; I am goodly with brown and gold and silver.
Why, I am lovelier than the russet autumn woods at the first snowfall.
Only one fish-hook can draw me out; it is a woman kneeling by the bank of the stream. It is she that pours the bright dew over herself, and into the sand so that the river gushes forth. A bird is heard saying "spread 'em bitch".
Who is this Neapolitan boy that laughs in his happiness? His lover is the mighty crater of the Mountain of Fire [see the bad flame below]. I saw his charred limbs borne down the slopes in a stealthy tongue of liquid stone.
And Oh! the chirp of the cicada!
O my God, wast Thou then as now my beautiful lover?
Was my boyhood then as now Thy toy, Thy joy?
Verily, I remember those iron days. When loins flowed into the mouths of ladies fair.
I remember how we drenched the bitter lakes with our torrent of gold and semen; how we sank the treasurable image in the crater of Citlaltepetl. (I got laid)
How The Good Flame lifted us even unto the lowlands, setting us down in the impenetrable forest.
As the stream will ripple,
The bitch got a triple...team.

In case you haven't noticed, I posted a picture of the mighty ones. I think it might be a little too big though...sounds like what your mom said last night!

Just a reminder that the trivia questions can be posted in the comments page or you can email us...if you dare...bitch!

BEHOLD...THE GOOD FLAME!

I think it is time to recap the last few days of blogging.

Bill sardell stumbled upon The Good Flame and decided to invite us into his world. Tobias grabbed hold of this and took it as a threat (as did the rest of us here at the good flame camp). We have now launched into a full scale internet war and there is no end in sight. I have kissed my wife and my beautiful children goodbye and have gone off to fight. They understand that I am doing it for the love of the good flame and one day things will be better. We just have to get this bill sardell tyrant out of the virtual world.

I was really drunk...I thought I should drink a glass of water and take some advil...dandruff shampoo is kind of like advil...it makes stuff better...I think I will just go to bed.

Does this mean that i am gay?

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

I am happy to say that i have acheived a state of drunkenness that is beyond the drunkeness that I felt before. Please just love me and get the new album!

Upon first hearing The Good FLame little timmy had no choice but to shit his pants.

This is what the bad flame looks like!

Today I discovered why I was placed on this earth. When someone comes up to me and asks, "what is the deal with people" I simply reply, "tomorrow is the day that I will tell you, but you don't know were I will be".

For your own personal deep thought send us an email.

Good news ladies and gentlemen! It is better then Peace in the middle east...It is better then women's liberation (most things are)...it is better then the fact that there was water on mars millions of years ago...the new good flame cd is done and ready for distribution! Get ready to fuck your pet because this is beastly good!