Howdy folks! Wallace here.  Well it's Friday and it's time to start decorating for Labor Day.  Remember folks, you onlyhave two months left to wear white shoes.

We have a BiG show coming up in August, specifically on the 28th starting at 9:00 PM!
That's right folks, The Good Flame is playing at the Ohm in Portland, OR.  We will be playing with such great artists as Speechwriters LLC and Ban Venai.  This is going to be an amazing show. 
In the meantime I am going to seduce a nun by singing all the Judas parts from Jesus Christ Superstar.

Wallace here,
Well Folks it's July 22.
Stick it to the Man,
but not too deep or it will
tickle.

Also, happy 21st birthday to Steve.

So life is good.  I have a new favorite bar, the price of colt 45 has stayed relatively stable, and you can still find nude pictures of people on the internet.  I went to Staten island last night and I realized that when I go to Staten island I am king.  The women there are so desperate!  I ferry over from one of the alpha boroughs and they just see promise in me.  I represent everything that they could be if they could just get off of that god forsaken island.  I got some nachos and a beer and then left.  They will remember me there...my legacy shall live on.  And Remember folks, August 28th is the show at the ohm.  Be there or be purple.

Tobias here, sharing my feelings on today's edition of "Tobias shares his feelings for today's edition." Leaving nice and funny comments has revolutionized my blog reality. All of a sudden roses are red, violets are damn blue, Farts are farty, and they're taking one of my balls for scientific research so I'm moving to Mexico and renaming myself Juan Onenut. ...The French are cowards! Viva la poopypants!  Napoleaon and french fries fight against Tiki discrimination on Mars..... Wow, wasn't that awesome? Here at Good Flame HQ, we just purchased a "news crawl" that you see on the cable networks. Now you can blog, and stay up to date on current events at the same time! ...Avril Lavigne to "lick a few man nuts." Floods provide for statewide skinny dipping party BYOB.....

This is fairly bizarre. I'm beginning to see the beauty of going to people blog's and leaving... what's the word..... "nice".....comments? Anyway, I've found the good Whittler's blogroll most satiating. I have of late been leaving funny comments on people's pages with poems and songs of yesteryear. Oh, jolly fun. Later I think I shall just have to have a spot of tea.









THE TIDES THEY ARE A CHANGIN' MY BROTHAS AND SISTAS.


















Don't poo.

















rrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! SHMIGGLEDEEDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
poo.

Good day Good Flamers, Tobias here to tell you that we're trying something a little new here at Good Flame HQ. It's what I'm calling "reality internet." We, The Good Flame, will take you, the bitches, on a journey. A journey through the eyes of a band who are putting together a kick-ass clutch cargo gig on August 28th, 2004 at The Ohm.

It all started with a happy accident. The Good Flame has distributed several hundred copies of our newest full length album. One of those copies belongs to a good friend of mine, Simon. Simon works as a promoter/DJ at The Ohm (tuesday nights if you care to see him). One day The Ohm's fine staff were "lounging" in the green room, when the muse known as The Good Flame struck. Simon decided it was time to share the gift of The Good Flame with the owner Dan, so he found a CD player, and played our disc. And guess what..... he loved it! We have Tbone to thank for that, for Dan has been quoted as saying, "'Your Mother' is my favorite." Not to toot my own horn, but I heard he laughed at my Barbara Walters comments as well (toot, toot).

And that's pretty much how it happened. Like so many potato chips, Dan was not satisfied with a singular taste, he needed the whole damn bag. And that's what The Good Flame'll give him. So remember friends, The Ohm plays host to The Good Flame on August 28th, starting at 9:00-12:00 midnight.

Can anybody hear me (me, me, me)? Hello ('lo, 'lo, 'lo)!! Alright then, if no one's here, I guess it's safe to take out my secret stack of gay porn. (squish, splurt) That's the ticket.... oh yeah.

Ho ho ho!! It seems Mikey J the Dude Fucker really is a COWARD and I have proof!! Go to www.roadtosurfdom.com, it seems that since being trounced intellectualy by we, The Good Flame, he tucked his tail 'tween his hind legs and went crying to these guys. His pent up frustration at never being able to best us (ever {at anything}) is being taken out on our surfer friends (because an enemy of Mikey J the Dude Fucker's is a friend of mine). So let's recap:

1. Mikey J the Dude Fucker makes attempts to sound like a smart person on our blog.
2. We come to find out he's a simple neo-con with that black and white thinking they love so well.
3. As such, he is unable to retaliate effectively against the onslaught of responsable claims and funny jokes.
4. After his supreme defeat, instead of taking his losses and lumps like a man would, he starts a NEW internet war with unsuspectors.

Why is this important, Tobias? I'll tell you. See, cowards ban people from their shlogs whilst they continue to leave agreivious posts on others' blogs. Now, we have the opportunity to help a blog with ALOT of readers to grind Mikey J the Dude Fucker into fag dust forever. Maybe with these guys' help we can google bomb Mikey J's wife as a whore and Cheify the Cowardly Namecalling Pigfucking Coward as a coward (or ignorant, blind to the reality of current events, etc.) and Gare Gare the Retarded Unborn Fetus as a homosexual gay guy.

I feel just plain terrific. It seems we have finally shut up The Ignorant 3. You knew it was going to happen once we threw in facts with our potty jokes. Speaking of which.....

Why do women give birth?
Because it hurts and they deserve it!

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Why did the woman cross the road?
To suck my dick!

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, 1 to screw it in and 1 to suck my dick!

A little update for Gary's Nickname (drumroll please {dudududududududududdududududududdddudduddudu}):

GARE GARE THE RETARDED UNBORN FETUS


That is a kick ass nickname. You may be asking yourself, "Why the change, Tobias?" Well I'll tell you, the postings on this blog alone would convince the Supreme Court of our great nation of Gare Gare's severe, unmedicatable retardation, hence, "Retarded." I would add that Gare Gare's clear closet homosexuality would qualify him for a much more afeminate name, hence, "Gare Gare." Well Uncle Tobias is going to enjoy a nightcap (and by nightcap I mean a threesome with the Olsen twins).

EVERYBODY STOP!!! Okay, now that we've had a moment to take a deep breath, and really THINK about everything that has happened since Haliburton was brought up.

1. Gary the Unborn Fetus disputes that Haliburton feeds the troops.
2. The oppotunity is afforeded to Gary the Unborn Fetus to show he's a man and know's what he's talking about, but falls short. Actually, saying he fell implies that he's smart enough to jump or perhaps trip without the help of retards like Rupy the Liar, let's say he was shoved short.
3.I spoon feed him information (I really didn't think I would have to at first. Now I realize how wrong I was. The Unborn Fetus couldn't even go to google and type a meer 2 words, Haliburton and troops. Pretty complicated stuff, isn't it).
4.He reverts to conceding after Wally B bitch slapped him, then raped his intellectual pussy.

Now that review time is over, the questions must be asked:

Why would Gary the Unborn Fetus contest my claim when he had no information on the subject being discussed?

How could he have graduated an institution of education when his skull is a foot thick?

Wallace here!
Well lets see what we have learned:
Gary makes claims that have no evidence.
Gary's claim: Halliburton does not feed the troops.
Gary's Evidence none
Here's some evidence for that one.

There was a lot of bitching about "where's the evidence" and "post a link." Now i don't think I am smarter than you lot, but in about one minute I found a credible source to back up a claim. You guys have been bitching for days about something that could have been resolved in minutes. There must be a lot of free time in Australia. Now if you'll excuse me, Gary's mom needs to be let outside, to do her business in the lawn.

Also she needs some more water in her dish.

Tbone here! I have returned! After a wonderful holiday weekend up north I am sun burnt and full of lobster. I just returned today and it seems that there has been a flurry of activity here and TGF H.Q. I am on my way to bed and was able to just skim through the postings, but it looks like tobias made CB his bitch...again. CB is still a coward. Gary has been offering his ignorance. Who is this guy? It sounds like he doesn't reality have a penis and missed out on playtime when he was younger. Probably breast fed into his twenties. Well, more tomorrow when I am refreshed and drunk.
P.S. It is really hot here and my fuse is short.

I know it's a few posts down, but I would encourage anyone who needs the finer points of what it means to be a neo-con cleared up to find the comments that are near the 30's. You will read a debate where I claimed that Haliburton feeds the troops, and has done a shitty job. Gary the Unborn Fetus had a go at contesting it, a made an attempt to allow him to provide me with conflicting information from a credible news source (FOX NEWS don't count, fuckos). After a while I realized that he would never do any researh, so I spoon-feed him the information so he could see it for himself without doing anything to actually gain the knowledge himself. Do you see how The Good Flame shows, once again, our intellectual supieriority to "The Ignorant 3."

Guess what dummies, I'm correct and you have your heads up your asses.

Cheify the Cowardly Namecalling Pigfucking Coward- You try to make yourself out to be a bad ass, but you are a pussy. A big, smelly, undousched vagina. I don't believe for a second that there is an ounce of bite to your yip (I'd say bark, but the lack of substance calls for a much smaller noise for a very small boy).

Gary the Unborn Fetus- You posess the wit and charm of an unborn fetus. I imagine you at social gatherings, covered in whatever gooey substance you feti (is that the plural of fetus?) live in with your underdeveloped eyes closed, gasping for oxygen like a fish out of water. "(Huuuuuuh) Pass (Huuuuuuh) the (Huuuuuuh) dip (Huuuuuuh) please," you would say. The girls flock to the football players. A buddy offers you a keg stand, you agree and so they grab your legs and tip you upsidedown. You put the hose in your mouth only to realize your fetus goo is too slippery for your friends to hold on to and you crack your soft head on the ground. Peter, the host of the party, admonishes his guests for not being more careful with a fetus.

Mikey J the Dude Fucker- Coward. Just a big ol' scaredy cat.

I'm smarter than Cheify, I'm smarter than Cheify LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAA!

Our greatest victory is the victory of the American people.

This is just rich. Please, do yourself a favor and visit Cheify the Cowardly Namecalling Pigfucking Coward's shlog (could ya link that up for me Tbone? Thanks, you're a dove)and read his latest post about (guess who) The Good Flame. If you are looking for an "Austin Powers" or "Ace Ventura" sized laugh, you're in for a real treat my friends, a real treat. This cowardly coward (who's every move has been predicted by especially astute Good Flame Supersleuthes) dares to call out, us, The Good Flame. He DARES to call us out. Sorry son, but The Good Flame just don't reckignyz yo ig'nant ass comment. What you have done is as follows: You leave several unflattering remarks about us, our music, our moral character, the list goes on and on Cheify, it really does. Note that NEVER ONCE did any member of a really terrific band, THE GOOD FLAME, EVER even make an attempt to censor or ban your God given right to speak your mind (unless it was funny to do so, in wich case it was made obvious to all by way of listing the words "altered by site owner." Gee, that almost sounds like an HONORABLE thing to do. I guess we aren't pathetic little cowards, and someone else we know {I won't mention names})So, what does a coward do? A coward bans us from every computer we have acces to and then dares us to post on his shlog. You are no better than a pimp who sells his women to men for sex, and then beats the shit out of them later on because they cheated on him. Who hurt you when you where a child Cheify? Did someone beat you? Were you kidnapped? How did you get that way? I can see the hurt, petrified little kid in you, and sometimes, I honest to God want to weep for you. But then I realize that you are a grown man, and you have to take personal responsability for how fucked up you turned out. Because it was you, Cheify the Cowardly Namecalling Pigfucking Coward, who dared to post, and I quote, "BRING. IT. ON," end fucking quote. It was you who FEIGNED a challange for your readers to see, leaving the impression that it is us, THE GOOD FLAME, who is backing down from a fight. But it's not us, Cheify, we LOVE a good fight. IT'S YOU WHO'S BACKED DOWN, COWARD! SUCK ON THAT, BITCH!